Black Parenting Today

Jerry McRae

One of the conversations that every Black parent fears but knows is critical, is what we call "The Talk." It's, uh—it's not optional. It's about preparing our kids for the systemic barriers that society has placed in their way—racism, stereotyping, implicit bias, and of course, those tricky police encounters.

Kelly McRae

Yeah, and it’s heartbreaking when you think about it. I mean, you're sitting your child down, telling them that the world views them differently just because of who they are, how they look. I know my Uncle Sandy, Aunt Monica and Cousin Stephanie doesn't play when it comes to this! But you know... we try, we we really try to make it more than just warnings, don’t we?

Jerry McRae

Absolutely. It’s not just a list of "do's and don't." It's coupled with building their self-worth and ensuring that they know how to navigate the world with dignity, you know? I mean, there’s a deep history to this kind of preparation—it goes back centuries. Enslaved people had to prepare their children for a brutal, unjust society too, and here we are, with that same heavy burden.

Kelly McRae

And…and we keep doing it because we love them so much. But we also pass down the beauty of our culture, don't we? Like, that’s the part that brings light into it all for me. I think of, like, how we celebrate Kwanzaa with Cam and Briana—not just because it’s tradition, but because it’s meaningful. Connecting to African roots reminds them they’re part of something so much bigger.

Jerry McRae

Exactly. It’s about pride, tradition, and resilience. I think when we talk about incorporating African parenting traditions, it’s things like storytelling—remember how we told those stories about Grandma Nettie and Grandma Alma last month, and Camren and Briana were so intrigued?

Kelly McRae

Oh, I loved that! It had hilarious parts about how grandma would dance right by herself in the front room and get so excited about Micheal Jackson twist, but it still kept the moral of the story intact. And that’s the thing—kids—they get it. They absorb these lessons without even realizing.

Jerry McRae

Yeah. And those little moments stay with them. But let’s shift gears a bit—how we handle this in our own neighborhood. Because raising our kids in a gentrified area…

Kelly McRae

Oof. There’s definitely pressure there. I mean, the community my family grew up in in Harlem looks completely different now, it’s... it’s hard to ground the kids in that same cultural richness, you know? Luckily in Saint George, our family basically own the entire road, so nothing has changed and we still have our culture, our memories, our history, and most of all, our ownership!

Jerry McRae

Yea, I love that about your family! Bishopville Road is a straight up treasure! But in other places, it’s not just the visuals, either. It’s the schools, Kelly. It’s the curriculum that leaves out our stories. Everything around them sometimes feels like it’s subtly trying to erase their identities. That’s why it's more important than ever to teach them at home—why, for example—

Kelly McRae

Why we don’t let them lose our Sunday dinners. I still remember when we used to live in Red Springs and after we came to Aunt Chris and Aunt Joanne's house from Uncle Johnnie's church, we all sat at the long kitchen table and enjoyed Sunday dinner!

Jerry McRae

Exactly! Those Sunday dinners were where we really communicated and have those lasting life long memories! Where we sit together and discuss who we are, where we come from. We’re raising our kids to be proud of their ancestry—to walk out into the world knowing they carry history with them.

Kelly McRae

And you can see that pride in their eyes when they try to, you know, accomplish something rooted in what we’ve taught them. Like, Briana standing up for her class project on African American scientists. She told me she felt like a queen that day.

Jerry McRae

That’s what it’s about. Helping them see where they come from so that no gentrification or societal barrier can take that pride away. And honestly...

Kelly McRae

Honestly, it’s not always easy. We just hold on to the practices we can—the traditions, the lessons, the values. And that’s how we make sure our kids don’t lose the essence of who they are, no matter what.

Jerry McRae

So when we talk about Black Joy, we’re really deepening what we just discussed. We're emphasizing Camp Meeting. Every year those days at Camp Meeting, fellow shipping with all of those families is an absolute treasure in our community. Our pride, our traditions, and our resilience. It’s more than just happiness; it’s this deliberate celebration of who we are, this powerful response that says, "We thrive, no matter what." It’s a resistance, you know?

Kelly McRae

Yeah, exactly. It’s not about ignoring the hard stuff or pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s about finding joy within our culture, our family, and our history—like holding onto a lifeline. And for me, it starts right in our home, Jerry. You know what I mean?

Jerry McRae

Absolutely. I mean, for example, take Camren and Briana. Watching them dance around the house during our family game nights—it's not just playful chaos, it’s pure unfiltered joy rooted in this sense of safety and love we create for them.

Kelly McRae

Oh, especially when Briana pulls out her favorite playlist of old-school songs and she does that little two-step that looks just like your mom’s moves!

Jerry McRae

I know, right? It’s like history repeating itself on the living room floor. And that’s also why, you know, we make it a point to connect them to those bigger pieces of Black heritage. Those cultural threads that tie us together.

Kelly McRae

Exactly. Like when we took them to—and this was months ago—the local Black art gallery. Seeing Cam stare at that mural of Fannie Lou Hamer? It…I mean, it gave me chills. He kept saying, “She looks so strong, Mom.” And I was like, “She was, baby. She was.”

Jerry McRae

And that’s exactly what representation does. It, uh—it plants these seeds of pride and possibility in their minds. When they see themselves in art, in history, in leadership, they’re not just imagining a better future—they’re realizing they’re part of a powerful lineage. It’s, uh, it’s empowering.

Kelly McRae

I definitely saw it with Briana last year during Black History Month, when they had a program at Mental Fitness. She couldn't wait to tell all her cousins about it. She told Gray son, Rayna, and Haven. She was so excited to learn about different inventors and contributions to this country that her ancestors made!

Jerry McRae

Yeah, that—exactly that. It’s about giving them a foundation strong enough to carry forward with pride and with joy, even when society tries to strip it away. This idea of Black Joy, it’s something we have to, um, protect and cultivate like a garden.

Kelly McRae

And, oh, let’s not ignore the impact of positive role models, right? Like Bri sitting on the couch, glued to Serena Williams' documentary, or Camren going, “Dad, I wanna do speeches like Martin Luther King Jr.” That kind of inspiration becomes part of their fabric, you know?

Jerry McRae

Completely. It’s, uh… it goes back to representation again. Watching figures who reflect their potential—it’s like they light up with the realization of their own worth and possibility.

Kelly McRae

And honestly, isn’t that the whole point? Not just surviving, but thriving—finding joy on purpose as we guide them through this complicated world.

Jerry McRae

You know, I talked to your cousin Danielle and Aunt Joanne about this because they are amazing teachers! Everything we’ve been saying about representation and pride in who we are—it makes me think about how much this is missing in education. The glaring absence of Black faces in curriculums or leadership positions like teachers and administrators—it’s, uh, it’s more than just disappointing. It’s erasing whole chapters of history and silencing so much potential.

Kelly McRae

Exactly. And it’s more than just—well, textbooks lacking our history. It’s the environment. Kids pick up on, you know, the subtle ways the system tells them they don’t belong. I’ve seen it with our own kids. It’s frustrating.

Jerry McRae

It really is. And, historically, this isn’t new. It’s tied right into larger systemic issues—things like redlining, school zoning, and funding disparities that keep predominantly Black schools under-resourced. But when those factors affect predominantly white schools too, they—

Kelly McRae

They pretend it’s not a problem?

Jerry McRae

Exactly.

Kelly McRae

And, Jerry, that’s where we as parents have to step up. 'Cause waiting for change to come, it just—it doesn’t work, you know?

Jerry McRae

No, it doesn’t. We’ve had to advocate fiercely for both Camren and Briana. Whether it’s, uh, talking to teachers about classroom materials, or making sure that their contributions—

Kelly McRae

—are respected. Yeah, exactly! Like, remember when Briana’s teacher almost skipped over her project during open house because “we were running out of time”? Oh no, I let her know politely but firmly—that wasn’t gonna happen.

Jerry McRae

And those moments matter. When they see us standing up for them, it reinforces their own voices, their own sense of agency. But it’s also about building networks, finding allies in the Oakley school system who understand what we’re fighting for. Like organizing with other parents.

Kelly McRae

Exactly. I mean, our local parent group? It’s been a lifeline. They’ve shared resources I didn’t even know existed—scholarship programs, tutoring services—and that connection makes a difference. We can't do it all alone.

Jerry McRae

No, we can’t. And when we talk about representation, it’s also pushing for programs that bring in diverse educators. You know, teachers who can reflect our kids’ identities and experiences. It’s transformational when a child sees themselves in leadership and academia.

Kelly McRae

Oh, like Miss Powell and how Cam loved his teacher last year. He said that she was nice and he recognizes words easier when he's reading. She was phenomenal. Not just because she was a great teacher, but because Cam looked up to her as someone who “got it.” There’s power in that kind of connection. It’s—it’s irreplaceable.

Jerry McRae

Yes! And Brianna loved Miss Stokes and how she really helped her understand math. And for us, these small victories remind us why we keep pushing. It’s exhausting sometimes, but it’s about laying the groundwork for something bigger—ensuring that our kids, and kids like them, don’t just exist in these systems but thrive in them.

Kelly McRae

Absolutely. And you know, even with all the challenges, the key is persistence. Knowing that every step—every fight—isn’t just for Cam and Briana, but for the generations that come next. And, Jerry…

Jerry McRae

...yeah?

Kelly McRae

Hearing Briana say, “You showed me how to stand tall”? That makes it all worth it.

Jerry McRae

It does. And that’s the legacy we hope to leave—for them and for every kid like them who deserves more. Always more.

Kelly McRae

And that’s the work of parenting—Black parenting—today. Teaching them to rise, love, and fight for something greater.