Parenting, Partnership, and Purpose

Jerry McRae

So, you know, being partners and parents at the same time — it's, uh, it's a bit like walking a tightrope, right? Balancing all the demands while keeping that connection alive. I remember, uh, Saturdays and evenings.... Camren had tutoring, basketball practice, and my schedule was already jammed, getting off from the library at 6 o' clock. Kelly, you were on one of your long nursing shifts from 7 to 7—

Kelly McRae

Oh yeah, I remember those days! Shoot, we're still living them! With you working some of the same weekends that I do, your job not closing until 6 and after school wants you to be there by 6:30! It has been a lot of those days honey! There were not enough hours in a day, and, honestly, it felt like neither of us could breathe steady until we just... got through it somehow.....BUT—GOD!

Jerry McRae

And we did, though. Barely. I mean, Camren and Briana were doing their best and ten minutes after we would get in the car, I would look in the rear view mirror and I'd see their little eyes closed. Awww, it was draining on them too! I was thinking about your shift and hoping you had managed to eat something at least. I remember texting you in the middle of it like, "Hey, you holding up?"

Kelly McRae

Yeah, and those messages? They matter so much. It’s not just about surviving the day—it’s about those little check-ins, making sure we’re both still okay, even when it’s chaotic.

Jerry McRae

Exactly. It’s, it's those moments where we lean on each other, even from a distance. Like, I handled practice that day, but when we got home, I—I was frustrated because Briana wanted help with her homework, and I was so fried from everything. And man, you... you just jumped right in. Took over.

Kelly McRae

Mmm-hmm. But it’s teamwork, Jerry, that’s the thing. We’ve gotta remind each other we’re a team. I—it’s not "you win, I lose." When Camren and Briana see that, they learn what it means to really prioritize family. It's bigger than just getting tasks done.

Jerry McRae

And, and let’s be honest, we don’t always get it perfectly. Parenting, partnership—it's messy sometimes. Like, you and I? We, uh, we sometimes clash on approaches.

Kelly McRae

Oh, for sure, like the discipline thing. You tend to be more structured. Some might call it “strict,” but I see your perspective, that’s how kids learn boundaries. I know they respect Red Ruley and your family had no problem getting a switch from the back yard. But rarely ever have we had to do that. We have very good kids! I'm—I'm more, what, exploratory? Like, “let’s talk this out first.”

Jerry McRae

That’s fair. I feel like I, uh, I focus on the strong male role! The power figure in the household! Not that I want them to be afraid of me but that tremble of respect. Have them thinking in the back of their mind that dad is in the room now, so there will be not playing around and getting into mischief. But hey, the key is—respect and knowing right from wrong. Same for you too, I hope.

Kelly McRae

I do. It’s not always easy, but yeah. We’ve found ways to blend it. Like when Camren was pushing back about when his grades fell and he wanted to play Fortnite on the weekends. You suggested consequences we both agreed on, so it wasn’t just "Mom said this" or "Dad said that." Unified front.

Jerry McRae

Right, and I think, I think what shows them more than anything is seeing us resolve our stuff. Camren learned that what daddy and mommy said goes. He sat in the corner of the couch on Saturdays, while Briana was on her phone and could play her games freely! You gotta learn bruh! They also see how we handle disagreements, how we trade off responsibilities—and, honestly, it strengthens us too.

Kelly McRae

Yeah. And I mean, every day we figure it out together. I think what makes it... what keeps it solid is the respect—the understanding we’re working towards the same goals. Like, we’re just trying to raise good human beings who feel loved and supported, but also accountable.

Jerry McRae

And, you know, doing it while still showing up for each other as partners, not just as "Mom and Dad." Like taking care of us helps us take care of them. That balance is everything.

Jerry McRae

You know, what we’ve been learning as parents and partners really comes into play when we think about the future. Like, when it comes to building wealth—I mean, generational wealth—it’s not just about earning money, right? It's, uh, teaching Camren and Briana what it means to manage it, to respect it. Like, what does saving really look like for an 8-year-old or a 10-year-old? It’s a challenge, but it’s... it’s also an incredible opportunity.

Kelly McRae

Right, because they don’t teach this in schools, especially not for us. And, let’s be real, systemic barriers have always made it harder for Black families to build wealth, let alone pass it down. So we have to start early; we have to make it something they can understand and engage with.

Jerry McRae

Exactly, like, just the other day Camren asked me why we have to pay bills. And I—I mean, that turned into this whole family conversation about how money works. We sat down and I showed him how budgeting is basically like planning for a big trip—mapping out where the money’s going before you spend it. He seemed to get it... kinda.

Kelly McRae

He totally got it! Come on Jerry, I honestly love that early on when I first met you, that you were talking about stocks, dividend funds, and cryptocurrency! I was so impressed! This man isn't just talking about Kobe Bryant and when the new Jordan's are coming out! The kids guard their piggy banks and money jars.

Jerry McRae

Yeah, I admit, that when I first started day trading stocks, then finding real value in buying them weekly, and holding on to them for generational wealth, really made the light bulb come on over my head! Now Camren and Brianna come to me every week, asking how much money is in their savings accounts! They actually get excited to give me money that their aunts and uncles give them to put in their bank savings!

Kelly McRae

Yes, they are! Thank you honey for doing all of that! I know that you lost a lot of money in the process of learning how to be profitable in these markets. But you've gained way more back than you've lost! When it comes to their savings, they can see the progress, and it becomes their choice to save because you've taught them about the monthly interest. That's empowering, you know? It gives them this sense of ownership over their goals.

Jerry McRae

Exactly babe! That's why they ask to see their account every month because they know that it will automatically be more than the last time that they looked at it. And, I think another layer to it—and this is huge, Kelly, I mean we—we’ve talked about this—is teaching them why it’s important. Like the history behind why it’s been harder for our families to build wealth. I want them to understand that it’s not just about making money, but breaking cycles.

Kelly McRae

Oh yeah, breaking cycles is the key. But we don’t want them feeling the weight of it, you know? It’s about equipping them so they can walk into adulthood confident, not overwhelmed. And for us, it’s also about how we lead by example. When they see us sitting down to plan, or being intentional about where our money goes, that’s their baseline.

Jerry McRae

Yeah, and, you know, I think seeing us talk about it openly—it’s such a shift from how money was always this, uh... almost like a taboo topic when we were growing up. We’re kinda rewriting the playbook here.

Kelly McRae

Mmm-hmm. And it’s not just about saving or budgets—it’s also showing them the bigger picture. Things like credit, investments, even how to give back. I mean, Briana? That girl already wants to start her own business.

Jerry McRae

She’s ambitious. I love that about her. And Camren? He’s already thinking about how basketball scholarships, track scholarships because he's so fast! This might play into his plans after hearing us talk about college savings and N I L deals. That's big money to let it just sit and grow. It’s these little seeds we plant, you know?

Kelly McRae

Definitely. And we just keep watering them. I think the goal isn’t just wealth—it’s freedom for them to live fully, to pursue their dreams. And it starts here, in these small, day-to-day lessons.

Kelly McRae

You know, when I think about how we try to empower Camren and Briana—not just with lessons about money but in life—it ties back to our spirituality, too. Like, those nightly prayers we share together? Going to Sunday and Wednesday Service at Bethlehem City of Faith. It’s not just about faith; it’s about grounding us as a family and reminding us we’re connected, no matter what kind of day we’ve had.

Jerry McRae

Mmm, yeah. Those prayers? We believe in GOD! Jesus is the reason we live, breath and thrive! This sets the rhythm for us. I mean, even on my toughest days, hearing them pray, and the noon day prayer calls that we have with our church family, really helps our lives! It makes me pause and reflect on what really matters.

Kelly McRae

Oh, definitely. And you know, it’s not just for them, it’s for us, too. It’s that space where we all come together, even if the day has been chaos. And the questions they ask during those moments? Whew, they can be deep.

Jerry McRae

Deep is an understatement! Remember that Sunday School lesson Camren came back from? He—he came into the living room, plopped down on the couch, and just said, “Dad, if God made us, who made God?” I mean... how do you even start unpacking that?

Kelly McRae

Oh, I remember that! And you—oh my gosh—you gave him that whole metaphor about a writer creating characters in a book. That was brilliant.

Jerry McRae

Thanks. I mean, I—I think it clicked for him in a way, but it’s those moments that make me realize how important our role is in shaping their spiritual journey, you know? We’re not just teaching them what to believe, we’re teaching them how to think about what they believe.

Kelly McRae

Exactly. And, honestly, faith gives us a framework for some of these harder conversations, too. When we talk to them about resilience, about being Black in a world that doesn’t always value us, it’s spirituality that helps us root those discussions in hope and not just—well—struggle.

Jerry McRae

Hope, yeah. That’s key. It’s what I think about when we have those moments where we turn to ancestral guidance—telling them about where we came from, and why our stories matter. It’s about showing them they’re part of something bigger, something strong.

Kelly McRae

Absolutely. And you know, it’s not always perfect. There’ll be moments they question things, moments they resist, but, to me, that’s part of faith, too—wrestling with it, growing with it. The important thing is that connection we’ve built stays strong.

Jerry McRae

Yeah, and teaching them that faith isn’t static—it evolves. I want them to see it as a source of strength as they navigate whatever life throws at them. Like Camren asking those big questions? I love that—they’re thinking, they’re processing. That shows we’re doing something right.

Kelly McRae

And it gives us a sense of purpose as parents, too. I mean, guiding them spiritually is one of the most important responsibilities we have. When they know who they are and where they come from, faith becomes armor—and not just for them, but for us all.

Jerry McRae

Couldn’t have said it better myself. At the end of the day, spirituality isn’t just something we practice—it’s something that shapes how we live and love every day. And I think that’s a gift worth passing on.

Kelly McRae

Definitely. And that’s the foundation we’re building every single day—with each prayer, each conversation, and every bit of love we pour into them.

Jerry McRae

And that’s all for today. Great talking as always, Kelly. My wife, my love, my partner for life! Until next time.

Kelly McRae

For sure. I love you with all my heart! See you next time!